Experimentation

Bruce and his family moved into our neighborhood the summer before we entered the 7th grade together. He was tall, red-haired, and boisterous. He impressed me as being a little strange, but who wasn't? We quickly became friends and seemingly just as quickly, we started sexual experimentation.

It started as a game. We soon progressed to the point where we didn't need a game penalty or other excuse to willingly and enthusiastically discover the joys of oral sex. We met in secret and usually we hid away in the attic space in the garage behind Bruce's house.

We had many interesting encounters over the next year. We found ourselves in the dead of winter having sex in the fishing shanties along the river. We also played in the closed bath house at Lakeside Park. It seemed that whenever we got together it was for one thing only.

Bruce once confided in me that he was involved with an adult but never explained about those experiences. I was never sure whether he was telling the truth or not. I discovered in school that Bruce was enrolled in a special education program. He was bright, intelligent, and emotionally impaired. And, at this point, as I look back, Bruce must have been involved in social services, the juvenile court system, or other child and family centered agencies. It must have been through one of those contacts that he met the rapist to whom he gave my name and telephone number.

Within two years of moving into the neighborhood, Bruce's mother divorced his step-father and moved Bruce and some of the blended family members to a house south of the Black River. Bruce called me to come over and see the new house. When I got there, I discovered that the intent all along was for me to meet and have sex with Bruce's new "friend".

I'm not certain if I ever told anyone about this man. He seemed to be 19 or 20 years old and the experience was not at all unpleasant. But, by definition, it was rape. And, this young Miller was the first person that my so-called friend, Bruce, pimped me out to......

I don't regret the exploration of sex with Bruce. We were both gay kids and we were eager to discover a few things. I will forever hate the fact Bruce betrayed me to adults that wanted to use and abuse young kids. That's the tragedy here as well as the decades of shame and anguish.......